Heartfelt Humorists Gifts

Brian the dog#3 - Brian now realised he was NOT man's best friend.

'I had to have my pacemaker readjusted since I asked Jesus into my heart.'

Romance

Barman In Love.

Phoenix

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

"I think it was good for me. Was it good for you?"

'Have you forgotten, dear, that you gave your heart to me in nineteen ninety one?'

"My instagram feed is basically people, dog food, and tennis balls."

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

"It's funny 'cos it's true!"

"Hey! These are still good!!"

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

Caterpillars in love

'To begin with, he's from Mars, I'm from Venus...'

"In mitigation, Sunny Chemicals would like to point out that prior to contracting his skin allergy, Mr Crumb was already ugly."

Safe driver.

My Folks, dressed up like Eskimos

"'You're the reason I crossed the road'? Really?! Is that your best pick-up line?"

"'Let's introduce him to a mirror' he said. 'It'll be fun he said'. You call the coroner!"

Bride of Frankenstein charges her phone

'Your left ventricle doesn't know what your right ventricle is doing.'

"Edgar, I'm talking to you! For goodness sake, has the cat got your tongue?"

'You don't sniff my butt anymore.'

Valentines

Valentines Day Cats

Surgeon Finds Heart Reading 'Be my Valentine'.

A dog with a heart shaped hole in his body

'She kept pinching the Vicar's bum!'

'Can't you tell people about our new swimming pool without saying I've 'gone off the deep end?''

An elderly woman with a heart-shaped ear trumpet

I know you can't forget, but you should learn to forgive...

'Your heart is slightly larger but that's because you're an animal lover.'