Heartfelt Funny Bone Tickler Gifts

'How's the new pacemaker.'

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"Hello coastguard, it's my husband, he's beached"

"So...what are you doing after you graduate?"

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

'My Pilot-Fish is on holidays, so I'm using a GPS System to find my way around...'

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

'You realize, of course, there's a seven-day waiting period.'

An early space launch attempt.

'I'll sure be glad when somebody invents cable!'

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

Nerdy man wagging his finger.

'I've never known a dog who gets tired so quickly.'

Stand-up comic/ceo: 'A funny thing happened on the way to the board meeting...'

'He's fine, it's only man flu not swine flu.'

'The program is stupid, primitive, embarrassing, and boring. I want to buy a new telly.'

Turkey to human dictionary - 'Quiet!!! You don't realize what you're saying!'

Will eat your homework for $.

'They've made this 3D football really realistic, it even chucks coins at you.'

"Call me!"

"You want to be a comedian? You can't be serious!"

Good Cop, Annoying Kid.

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

"You've got night fever."

Can I go to the Computer Tennis Camp?

"How much further away from it all will we be going?"

Punch Drunk

"I'm OK. But I think the dog wants to go out."

'That's not the frisbee I tossed for you.'

Guru. It's not some kind of zen metaphor --- I really do have an invisible fence!

Dog leading a blind dog and blind person.

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

'Your reflexes are still good!'