Healthcare Worker Fan Gifts

'Try not to take offense when he says - 'Of all the hip joints in all the world etc etc.''

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

First aid in mountains

Corona Funeral

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

"Darn it, lost another swab."

DIY marriage counseling.

Give me your sick...

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

'I hope you all appreciate the irony in this.'

Dog being carried off by ducks.

"Do you have a family history of this condition?"

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

Paramedics.

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

Therapy for the cow dependent

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

"How do you feel about turning over?"

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

J. Greeble, MD: Practice limited to simple, straightforward, old-fashioned diseases.

'I've got a good idea! Let's take everything out and start from scratch.'

Soccer Ball - "I'm sick and tired of being kicked around all the time."

Sewing Machines in Surgery