Healthcare Simulation Fan Gifts

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

First aid in mountains

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

DIY marriage counseling.

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

Dog being carried off by ducks.

Mort, the doctor says you can't get too riled up. It's bad for your heart. Yes, dear. You're not a young man anymore. You're not in tip-top shape. You don't eat well. You're not so muscular. I'm not a fan of your haircut. Nurse!

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

"Do you have a family history of this condition?"

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

"How do you feel about turning over?"

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

Therapy for the cow dependent

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

J. Greeble, MD: Practice limited to simple, straightforward, old-fashioned diseases.

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

"Well, I'll be - he cut and ran."

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

'I've got a good idea! Let's take everything out and start from scratch.'

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."

Short Term Memory Loss Support Group: 'Good evening. You're probably all wondering why you just walked into this room.'

Soccer Ball - "I'm sick and tired of being kicked around all the time."

"You know how it goes: Those who can, do, those who can't, teach..."

'...And when I asked my parents if I was adopted, they said 'not yet.''

"Try taking baby steps."

Flying NHS Walk-in Centre

BOEING Suspends Flights.

Hi, my name's Pam and I'll be your paramedic for the evening.

You're a sham, Al. In truth, I'm a mere shadow of my former sham, doctor. I was hoping you might help me get back to my old fake self.