Healthcare Bureaucrat Survivor Gifts

'You're limping -- you should visit your HMO.', 'I did -- they PRESCRIBED limping!'

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

'No matter how cynical I become, I can't keep up.'

"I feel your pain."

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

A man is in an office, behind him is a glass box containing a glass and a bottle, there is a sign saying 'in case of emergency'

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"You're doing great, only thirty-one more years to go."

"Wow - you say you're a workaholic, but your office says it's time for your vacation!"

"And once you've achieved your 25% improvement in client satisfaction surveys, we need you to solve the problem of global warming,third world poverty and cold toast."

'As meetings go that was one of my better ones!'

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

"Everyone seek higher ground! The paperwork is rising to a dangerous level."

'Yeah, the radiology job market is really hot right now - it's so hot I think I'm getting third degree burns! I gotta go!'

'Time for your pills.'

"I may be incompetent. But, if you fire me there'll be no one who knows less about this company than you."

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

Office Weather

Get Well Soon and Hurry Back to the Office. . . Before Sharks Eat Your Job

Getting through the week.

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

Twisted Peel works overtime.

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'

"Granberry, you're about to suffer a near-death experience!"

"When everyone's an 800 pound gorilla, nobody's an 800 pound gorilla.".

"It drives me MAD when people act as though we've nothing to do except write moronic memorandum."

Exhausted employee

"I don't understand, having a pulmonary embolism isn't on his to do list!"

"I hate when she drags herself to work. Am I supposed to feel guilty?"

'Would you like the ECG tracing of your father's death? It's the least we can do.'

"I am totally ready for this presentation."

"I'm putting you in charge of this project because you're already miserable."

'Now here's my idea...we come up with a really high-priced drug to treat drug side effects...'

"Leadership is all about making sacrifices and you are OURS!"