Boardroom Survivor Gifts

'As meetings go that was one of my better ones!'

'Am I boring you?'

'Of course I'm not mad that the meeting's over, I'm mad that you woke me up!'

'And if none of those work, it brings us to Plan Z...'

'Okay, let's try again, 'I second it.', 'I second it.', 'I...'

'Well, the Brain Trust had no answers. Call in the Blame Trust!'

'I hate his 'my way or the highway' attitude, but considering our crumbling infrastructure, I'd better go his way.'

"I'm totally prepared for this meeting. In fact I spent the entire morning working on my 'it's not my fault' face."

The Coordination Committee meets. . .

"Before we start would anyone prefer going out and boiling their head in lard?"

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

"Oh dear...I don't think negotiations are going too well..."

In and Out Tray

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

"Before I read the financial report I have to ask... do any of you have a weapon?"

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

"My career's in shreds, but on the bright side, so are my files."

The Buck Never Stops.

"Not much. Just enjoying my post-lunch bounce."

'This is Harris, he's been with the firm some 45 years!'

'Don't bother cleaning out your desk. We'll be hiring you back as a consultant for half the salary and no benefits.'

Between Offices