Boardroom Conqueror Gifts

'By the time I climbed up to this job, I was too tired to do it.'

'I'm the new chairman the temp agency sent over.'

'There's a no-nonsense quality about TJ that I admire.'

"The unions are ALWAYS moaning about the amount top management get paid. They don't understand the stress involved in dealing with HUGE, MASSIVE amounts of money!"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

"My report to the board was perfect. They did not understand a word of it and now think I'm smarter than them."

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

"Oh dear...I don't think negotiations are going too well..."

"Listen to everybody's opinions? Please, we're not that desperate."

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

"Before I read the financial report I have to ask... do any of you have a weapon?"

'It's my company, I'll decide whether I want to go to the partner's meeting or not.'

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

'As I see it, our choices are 'no' and 'hell no'.'

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

"He's not sleeping. He always dims his display while downloading data."

'You can't put him out to pasture - he owns the pasture!'

'Maybe you should reconsider those place cards, Ms Harris?' (Negotiation talks/Good Guys/Bad Guys)

'This merger will cut jobs 40%, reduce salaries 30% and increase the work hours 25%. Your job is to make this look like the best thing that ever happened to our employees.'

'You're closer to the Big Guy than anyone. Will you help us kill him?'

'You myst blow at least a 2.3 on the 'drunk with power' breathalizer before they'll promote you to upper management.'

'Who wants the talking stick?'

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

"I'm tired of being used as a scapegoat."

Presentation Skills: 1. Be Prepared.

"When everyone's an 800 pound gorilla, nobody's an 800 pound gorilla.".

'I've chosen you for fresh, new ideas.'

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'