Boardroom Conqueror T-Shirts

'By the time I climbed up to this job, I was too tired to do it.'

'I'm the new chairman the temp agency sent over.'

'There's a no-nonsense quality about TJ that I admire.'

"The unions are ALWAYS moaning about the amount top management get paid. They don't understand the stress involved in dealing with HUGE, MASSIVE amounts of money!"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

"My report to the board was perfect. They did not understand a word of it and now think I'm smarter than them."

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

"Oh dear...I don't think negotiations are going too well..."

"Listen to everybody's opinions? Please, we're not that desperate."

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

"Before I read the financial report I have to ask... do any of you have a weapon?"

'It's my company, I'll decide whether I want to go to the partner's meeting or not.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

'As I see it, our choices are 'no' and 'hell no'.'

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

'You can't put him out to pasture - he owns the pasture!'

"He's not sleeping. He always dims his display while downloading data."

'Maybe you should reconsider those place cards, Ms Harris?' (Negotiation talks/Good Guys/Bad Guys)

'This merger will cut jobs 40%, reduce salaries 30% and increase the work hours 25%. Your job is to make this look like the best thing that ever happened to our employees.'

'You're closer to the Big Guy than anyone. Will you help us kill him?'

'Who wants the talking stick?'

'You myst blow at least a 2.3 on the 'drunk with power' breathalizer before they'll promote you to upper management.'

Presentation Skills: 1. Be Prepared.

'I've chosen you for fresh, new ideas.'

"I'm tired of being used as a scapegoat."

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

"When everyone's an 800 pound gorilla, nobody's an 800 pound gorilla.".

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'