Former Bureaucrat Gifts

Former bereucrat who forgot the acronym for the office where he worked.

Cleric with bible briefcase.

"And once you've achieved your 25% improvement in client satisfaction surveys, we need you to solve the problem of global warming,third world poverty and cold toast."

Happy Retirement

Bureau to cut back on bureaucratic paperwork...

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

"It drives me MAD when people act as though we've nothing to do except write moronic memorandum."

'The Federal Government today authorized a ten-year study of all its five-year studies.'

"So from the top. If they need urgent help it's form AC/765c, criticl interventions are CV/U657's and..."

'The government is telling us to get rid of 43% of meaningless targets within the next 6 months!'

"What's this? Now we have to hunt, gather and collate?"

"Yeah, but no progress in meeting..."

"You're a bureaucrat, Ed. What do you mean you hate paperwork?"

MI5 Press Office

"The water for your fishbowl was approved, but it looks like for now you're not getting the fish."

'The trouble with you doctors is that you don't really understand what the NHS is for.'

"Here's a little song I wrote in prison. Actually, I was at Motor Vehicle renewing my license, but it SEEMED like prison."

Excessive Paperwork

"There's talk of a merger with London Zoo."

'Good evening! I'm the Abduction Admin Consultant.'

"Remember, report itemized deductions on Schedule A on your federal form 1040."

Auditor General.

"Now, there are just a few more forms for you to sign, and then we're done!"

"Someday you'll understand the ways of the world...with the exception of tax and health insurance forms."

I see from this you were very good at organising office parties.

'Look, he's wrapped in red tape. we've discovered the first bureaucrat.'

'I'll need four character references.'

'Surround our project with lots of useless extras so our critics have something to pick at while we ram our proposals through.'

Nice shiny...look, lots of lovely buttons...only ?13 billion...NPFit.

A woman sits in an office of the Food and Drug Administration in - out boxes marked MMMM Good and Oh - Bad.

'When she grows up she wants to be a nurse and do filing.'

Federal Department of Disproportionate Force.

'Having demonstrated his total lack of leadership skills, Netherby is leaving to head up a federal agency.'

'I want to work for the IRS and scare people.'

"Simplified application form? This IS the simplified application form..."