Bureaucracy Survivor Gifts

"And once you've achieved your 25% improvement in client satisfaction surveys, we need you to solve the problem of global warming,third world poverty and cold toast."

"The water for your fishbowl was approved, but it looks like for now you're not getting the fish."

"It drives me MAD when people act as though we've nothing to do except write moronic memorandum."

Garbage in and Garbage out.

"I'm sorry. I thought I could save him, but there was just too much paperwork."

DMV - Enter Here

"There...feeling better?"

"Let me through, I'm a doctor."

"Here's a little song I wrote in prison. Actually, I was at Motor Vehicle renewing my license, but it SEEMED like prison."

"Someday you'll understand the ways of the world...with the exception of tax and health insurance forms."

". . . And this one is for surviving four secretaries of defense."

Moses at the D.M.V.

'Good evening! I'm the Abduction Admin Consultant.'

'I recommend you use the short form.'

Inland Revenue.

Never mind what planet you're from, I want a name and social security number.

'Look, he's wrapped in red tape. we've discovered the first bureaucrat.'

"Nix on the Polack routine. We have reason to believe you're evading sales tax on Vistula Vodka!"

"Number Thirty Two."

'So this is hell.' 'Not exactly. We just process you here. This is only hellISH.'

'Can you redo this report, Farley, and make it less stupid?'

"Walking dead letter file."

"No, this is not 'returns,' and that's not a receipt … it's a birth certificate!"

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

'No matter how cynical I become, I can't keep up.'

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

The Buck Never Stops.

'As meetings go that was one of my better ones!'

Bureaucracy gone mad!

"Ticket and passport, please."

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

Doctor surrounded by notes.

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.