Bureaucracy Battlers Gifts

NHS very direct - 'You have a terminal illness and you are going to die. Thanks for your call...'

"It's not the grant we expected, but it's better than a kick in the pants."

To The Sorry For The Inconvenience Department

'It's reading Health and Safety Regulations that makes me sick!'

GPs could be forced to switch IT systems onto new NHS digital contract

Department of Redundancy

"The ruddy inland revenue is planning to tax subsidised lunches now."

GP Recruitment Quota Lottery

"I'd like to file my expenses...so long as I can claim for the headache tablets afterwards"

"Exercise? I've been run off my feet with Boris's stupid 30 million letters!"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

UK/US Free Trade Deal

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

Time for More Paperwork

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

'Yes, sir, what can I do for you?'

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

Businessman sees door sign 'Department of Mismanagement and Overbudget'.

"Of course it's a stupid sign, but you wouldn't believe how much money it brings in for city hall!"

The Buck Never Stops.

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

"We should have taken the cubicles."

Deskboxes: 'LATE' and 'NEVER'.

"I'll be honest... there are books by James Joyce that are easier to follow than these bad boys."