Bureaucracy Busters Gifts

Hospital - "Do you have an appointment."

"Let's derail this! So use passive voice, express vague concerns, and call for a follow-on working group."

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

"In principle I agree that staff have far to much pointless paperwork to fill in."

'The government is telling us to get rid of 43% of meaningless targets within the next 6 months!'

"Well, I can't remember what we've agreed on. But at least we've sorted out our expenses!"

'When are these fools going to get it through their thick skulls?... You can't fight city hall.'

Regulators claim practices are overloaded with patient surveys.

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

"This is our rapid response form filling unit, sir."

Woman asking burglar for a receipt so she can claim the insurance

NHS targets

'Sorry, but I can't make any promises on any wishes that have anything to do with the government.'

Rusk Assessment Form

Bureaucrats held up by the workers.

Unorthodox in their methods, the Vojvodina Rippers cut through red tape fast.

'I'm the VP of Marketing. If you want chicken you have to see the VP of Sales.'

"I'm referring you to tech assistance to figure out your insurance options."

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

Umpires Association

"The council says we can't build our extension. Maybe we should ask the EU?"

'Without management consultants how is the NHS meant to instigate forward facing paradigm shifts in it's client nourishment product....'

"So we are four days into the new Procurement Act. How are you feeling?"/"I am ok and everything seems to be fine, but I miss the anticipation."

'Good news...your CRB check has come through.'

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

"The industry has agreed to take the pensions dashboard off our hands. . ."

'I'm counting on you to back me up, Meg ... now, go in and make my complaint.'

'My foreign policy isn't working - write me up another one.'

'Funny you should mention that - I happen to be involved in a joint research project with the Department of Agriculture for the express purpose of getting blood from a turnip.'

Of course the teasts are complete nonsense but we're working on the basis that anyone who can be bothered to complete all 148 of them must be highly motivated...

DOH staff rquired to get sick notes after just one day!

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

'Everybody...pull!'

'I don't argue that you have a strong case and normally we would want to offer you the services of a support worker. . . but we just don't have the staff!'

"The survey suggested that overly bureaucratic management is a major cause of staff stress..."