Bureaucratic Buster Gifts

Government Shutdown

"The government doesn't want to STOP you going on strike, we simply want to make it fair..."

'The 'Waste Management' guidelines were bigger than the waste management containers!'

'At the end of last week's program I enjoined our viewers to have a good day. Now, on the advice of counsel, I wish to retract that statement.'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

UK/US Free Trade Deal

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

Time for More Paperwork

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

Turkish Democracy

'Yes, sir, what can I do for you?'

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

"Of course it's a stupid sign, but you wouldn't believe how much money it brings in for city hall!"

Businessman sees door sign 'Department of Mismanagement and Overbudget'.

The Buck Never Stops.

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

"I'll be honest... there are books by James Joyce that are easier to follow than these bad boys."

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

'I'm afraid I can't take you to my leader without a prior appointment.'

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

"Do you have an appointment?"

"The admin shouldn’t take more than 30 or 40 hours, then you’ll be free to get on with some work."

"These are just the guidelines, the forms are in the truck outside!"

'We decided the current system for reviewing corporation tax was too complex so we'll trial the 'think of a number and then double it' method.'

'This is a job for a consultant.'