Government Buster Gifts

Turkish Democracy

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

UK/US Free Trade Deal

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

Time for More Paperwork

It beached on a pile of plastic bottles, so they were able to just roll it back out.

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

I'm not making enough money to like you.

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

'Yes, sir, what can I do for you?'

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

Businessman sees door sign 'Department of Mismanagement and Overbudget'.

"Of course it's a stupid sign, but you wouldn't believe how much money it brings in for city hall!"

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

"We should have taken the cubicles."

Budget Bureau. Ernie, spilling something from every food group on it, does not make it a "balanced" budget!

"I'll be honest... there are books by James Joyce that are easier to follow than these bad boys."

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

'I'm afraid I can't take you to my leader without a prior appointment.'

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

"These are just the guidelines, the forms are in the truck outside!"

"Do you have an appointment?"

"The admin shouldn’t take more than 30 or 40 hours, then you’ll be free to get on with some work."

Arnold's first day on the job - 'What do you mean...no director!!!...and who is going to tell me what to do?'

'We decided the current system for reviewing corporation tax was too complex so we'll trial the 'think of a number and then double it' method.'