Ban Buster Gifts

Warning.

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

It beached on a pile of plastic bottles, so they were able to just roll it back out.

Turkish Democracy

The Expert

'Ready for your bonus, Bob?'

"He really hates all the fake news!!"

"Well, you know what they say —'The water's always bluer on the other side of the trash fence.'"

Fake News - Tabloid News - State-run News - Free Press

'If congress regulates obscene bonuses, isn't that a violation of the first amendment?'

Burning the Other

Office of the PR of the United States

'This potion will get you promoted but I can't guarantee a bonus.'

"Where do you come up with your rationalizations for not writing?"

"Would you look at the carrot on that guy!"

'I hate to see you work during your lunch hour, so do me a favor and close your door.'

"We're looking for someone just like you but with testicles."

"Fake it till you make it, baby."

'It's a rare generic defect. To put it bluntly, you have no brand loyalty.'

Barman and drinker glare at man at bar ? sign says : 'Thank you for NOT saying 'At the end of the day'..''

'At the end of last week's program I enjoined our viewers to have a good day. Now, on the advice of counsel, I wish to retract that statement.'

"It isn't just the media that's biased... often the voters are too."

'Come out of that cupboard. If you can't stand up to the class bully, who will? After all, you are the Headmaster...?'

'I knew we should have put the CEO's increased bonus item further down the agenda.'

"I'd like algebra a lot more if it weren't for one thing."

'Anything I can break has to go.'

Top AIG executives agree to give back bonuses.

Holy Water and Ice Blocks

"Remember, son, keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and anyone who says 'Beer me' as far away as possible."

"Stupid bullies. I would try to defend myself – but what if I lose? Who would cover my legal expenses?"

Goal!

Cut down your own tree.

'You know, you're really screwing with my preconceived notions.'

'We rolled your account over last week, Sir, and now we can't find it.'

'To be honest, I did expect a better bonus this year.'