Breakable Banisher Gifts

'Anything I can break has to go.'

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

"Ooh don't stop Bob, the last time you ran your fingers through my hair like this was on our wedding night!"

The Lancet and Boils and Boilmen.

'You've had enough!'

'I've never done this before.'

"Oh, for heaven's sake. Use the spray!"

Bob takes care of this monster-under-the-bed business once and for all.

Warning.

Ah, rain has stopped, now for the good life...

"Remember, son, keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and anyone who says 'Beer me' as far away as possible."

"You've just raided your last patch!"

"I'm taking you off sugar, carbs, red meat, poultry, dairy, non-dairy and anything served in a bucket."

This is a new talking copier, you've pushed the wrong button, mutton head!

"I say it's government-mandated broccoli, and I say the hell with it."

For Timely Filing

'I turn them loose in my cave. They're colorful, fun to watch and they eat bugs.'

A place to smoke.

"Wait, I just want to kill this fly."

"What are you going to do about it? Call an exterminator?"

"I remember when walls weren't so bossy."

"Why are you afraid of bugs? You outweigh the majority of them by 250 pounds."

"You should've called me sooner!"

"Do you sell insect-repellent?"

No Fly Zone.

'Now, let's just say the fan in Row C, Seat 4, is on your case. You just punch the coordinates into the computer...'

"Before you go out, I've warmed your wig in the microwave!"

Cause phone solicitor's head to explode.