Buzzword Banisher Gifts

Ace Advertising. Creative Dept. Hi, there! We'd like one slogan and a jingle to go … Easy on the buzzwords and no punch line on either!

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

I wish you kids would get off your electronics and learn a practical skill. Work with your hands! What does he think we're doing?!! Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap.

"That's an everblue."

What Business People often say (and what they really mean)

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

Shoe Repair and Pest Control.

"Ooh don't stop Bob, the last time you ran your fingers through my hair like this was on our wedding night!"

"Welcome to Trapeze Talent Inc. If you'd like us to catch you, fill out this form, and we'll get back to you if we're interested."

"You're all redundant."

Communicating with clients without using buzzwords posed a challenge for the consultants.

Gads. I've forgotten today's buzzword.

'Do you get the feeling that, in educational workshops, there are way too many buzzwords thrown around?'

'You've had enough!'

More of what people often say (and what they really mean)

"Head office says that transparency in communicating internally and with clients is of paramount importance..."

'I've never done this before.'

'Actually, we were looking for someone who could think outside the box.'

Barman and drinker glare at man at bar ? sign says : 'Thank you for NOT saying 'At the end of the day'..''

'Pillow too soft?'

"Oh, for heaven's sake. Use the spray!"

Bob takes care of this monster-under-the-bed business once and for all.

Management Jargon.

"Remember, son, keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and anyone who says 'Beer me' as far away as possible."

'Anything I can break has to go.'

Warning.

Ah, rain has stopped, now for the good life...

'I'll start with the weekly progress report. Ms. London, on my right, will act as acronym and jargon translator.'

"You've just raided your last patch!"

"I'm not going to lie to you, Saunders—I'm going to lie to you."

"I say it's government-mandated broccoli, and I say the hell with it."

"I'm taking you off sugar, carbs, red meat, poultry, dairy, non-dairy and anything served in a bucket."

"We don't need, "three hundred and sixty degree thinking" on this - it's not the bloody marketing department!"