Corruption Buster Gifts

Justice against corruption

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

The Jeopardy of Progress

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

UK/US Free Trade Deal

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

North Pole

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

Time for More Paperwork

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

Turkish Democracy

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

'Yes, sir, what can I do for you?'

"Of course it's a stupid sign, but you wouldn't believe how much money it brings in for city hall!"

Businessman sees door sign 'Department of Mismanagement and Overbudget'.

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"I'll be honest... there are books by James Joyce that are easier to follow than these bad boys."

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

'I'm afraid I can't take you to my leader without a prior appointment.'

"These are just the guidelines, the forms are in the truck outside!"

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

"The admin shouldn’t take more than 30 or 40 hours, then you’ll be free to get on with some work."

"Do you have an appointment?"

'We decided the current system for reviewing corporation tax was too complex so we'll trial the 'think of a number and then double it' method.'

'This is a job for a consultant.'

The new Physics

'I think I found the bottleneck, Boss.'