Bribery Buster Gifts

"Well, it looks like everyone is buying into the changes."

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

UK/US Free Trade Deal

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

Time for More Paperwork

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

'Yes, sir, what can I do for you?'

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

"Of course it's a stupid sign, but you wouldn't believe how much money it brings in for city hall!"

Businessman sees door sign 'Department of Mismanagement and Overbudget'.

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

"I'll be honest... there are books by James Joyce that are easier to follow than these bad boys."

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

'I'm afraid I can't take you to my leader without a prior appointment.'

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

"Do you have an appointment?"

"These are just the guidelines, the forms are in the truck outside!"

"The admin shouldn’t take more than 30 or 40 hours, then you’ll be free to get on with some work."

'We decided the current system for reviewing corporation tax was too complex so we'll trial the 'think of a number and then double it' method.'

'This is a job for a consultant.'

'I think I found the bottleneck, Boss.'

Bureaucrats held up by the workers.

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

Empty/Full

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

"We missed the meeting, but there might be a couple of the little muffins left."

'I have created the first interactive pile of paperwork.'