Bribery Buff Gifts

'I baked it especially for you.'

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

'What's wrong now?'

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

"We need to do something about excessive admin. I want you to fill out one of these forms every time you think you're doing some."

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

"Before vaporizing this one, we need to file an environmental impact report."

"Useless information"

"If you're really interested, talk to someone at corporate. They own my soul."

"We find it as long as you manage the inputs, the outputs will look after themselves."

"I worked hard, I played hard and I embezzled hard."

I kicked him upstairs to Diaz, Diaz kicked him over to Fennelson, and Fennelson evidently kicked him out the window.

"From this you make a living?"

'It's a new rule, sir - There's a seven-day waiting period for stamps now.'

"Hold everything! I just thought up a terrific loophole!"

"Of course, the actual honey is all made overseas."

'It's not so much the distance to your proposed house site, but that I'm not familiar with your planet's building codes.'

"Pendleton will stay afloat no matter what!"

'Somebody should tell our office manager that a motorized filing cabinet does not qualify as an electronic health record system.'

He waited for the next wave of regulations to arrive.

Max Weber

"They got me for pillaging. How about you?"

'We are in a race against time and the auditors. Gentlemen...start your shredders!'

"Office of quality assurance"

Desk of Public Opinion Polls has 'In' box 'Out' box and 'Undecided'.

Top Secret/Middle Secret/Bottom Secret

'Michelle's Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms'

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

Department of Who's Your Daddy?

'... And I appreciate that you've 'saved the world from certain doom on numerous occasions', but you still have to pay your taxes.'

'By the looks of these skid marks, Humpty didn't fall- he was pushed!'

The Further Temptations of Kenneth Starr

"You may ask your questions only when I call your name. Don't waste my time with chit-chat. I don't have all day. Got that?"

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'