Bureaucracy Survivors Gifts

"I told him that I was leaving that I couldn't put up with the endless papaerwork..." "And what did he say?" "He asked me to fill out an exit report."

'Don't get me wrong - hell is awful, but it could be so much more hellish. We have much to learn from them.'

Please take a number...Runaround excuse number: 37...

He says he's from the "Internal Rock Service" or something. IRS.

'To whom it may concern...Water!...Water!'

'The bank returned our loan application.'

'If we did have it, we don't now. Have you tried Lost and Found?'

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

The Buck Never Stops.

"And once you've achieved your 25% improvement in client satisfaction surveys, we need you to solve the problem of global warming,third world poverty and cold toast."

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

Bureaucracy gone mad!

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

Bureaucrats held up by the workers.

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

"Ticket and passport, please."

"It drives me MAD when people act as though we've nothing to do except write moronic memorandum."

'My phone number, Social Security number and Zip Code, just to buy gum? They didn't ask me that many questions when I joined the army.'

"The industry has agreed to take the pensions dashboard off our hands. . ."

Doctor surrounded by notes.

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

"Ah, you'll be wanting our red tape department, third door on the left!"

'It's not so much the distance to your proposed mini-mall site, but that I'm not as familiar with your galaxy's zoning laws as I'd like to be.'

'The government is telling us to get rid of 43% of meaningless targets within the next 6 months!'

"What's this? Now we have to hunt, gather and collate?"

GPs could be forced to switch IT systems onto new NHS digital contract

Welcome Bureaucrats! (Convention of bureaucrats).

IN, OUT, NOT WORTH THE EFFORT.

Liberties: civil and uncivil.

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