Bureaucracy Escapist Gifts

"Come on- the last four digits of your social security number."

"I'd like to book 10 days going anywhere they've never heard of Brexit."

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'

"It's essential I go to work to avoid being with my family."

"What's the problem? We told you when you started you'd have to make some sacrifices."

"And once you've achieved your 25% improvement in client satisfaction surveys, we need you to solve the problem of global warming,third world poverty and cold toast."

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

Workaholic on holiday

I hate sitting in traffic jams. - 'Move it! I need to get work.' - 'I hate sitting at my desk.' -

Forms I cannot deal with / Forms I will not deal with

CEO Escape

"How do you feel about working a four-day week?"

"Lisa, bring out the Alistair Cheng files and an iced mochaccino, if you will, please."

Whiskers realized he'd grown tired of the rat race.

"Cubicle 311 is our 'cultural oasis'."

'Walter, stop fantasizing and get back to your desk.'

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

"It drives me MAD when people act as though we've nothing to do except write moronic memorandum."

Next, I recall looking down at myself and thinking, God, what a drama queen.

'I'm playing 18 floors.'

'My phone number, Social Security number and Zip Code, just to buy gum? They didn't ask me that many questions when I joined the army.'

Clock watcher

"Where do you see yourself getting drunk in five years?"

"Then I wake up, the cheering has stopped, I have three kids, and I work in a cubicle."

'Now, dear, I spent 35 years pretending to look busy. I can't just quit overnight!'

'I've got a board meeting!'

'When I wake up, remind me to give you a few tips on how to make your presentations a little more dynamic.'

Do not resuscitate.

'Running away from the circus to join the world of accountancy isn't working out as I expected. . .'

"We were told we could find the Wells Fargo records here."

"My God!....Will this presentation never end?"

'Hold my calls. I'm going out for a random walk.'

"Please fill out these forms. We don't need them for anything, but you're making me nervous staring at your watch."