Management Escapist Gifts

Thank you, but at my age, I'm more interested in a management get-out.

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

Bo're'droom

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'

"It's essential I go to work to avoid being with my family."

"What's the problem? We told you when you started you'd have to make some sacrifices."

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

Rising Gas Prices

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

Workaholic on holiday

I hate sitting in traffic jams. - 'Move it! I need to get work.' - 'I hate sitting at my desk.' -

Forms I cannot deal with / Forms I will not deal with

"Could I please go back to the rack now?"

'I was so angry, I got up and tip-toed out of the meeting. I probably should've stomped.'

"How do you feel about working a four-day week?"

Whiskers realized he'd grown tired of the rat race.

"Lisa, bring out the Alistair Cheng files and an iced mochaccino, if you will, please."

'Walter, stop fantasizing and get back to your desk.'

"Cubicle 311 is our 'cultural oasis'."

CEO Escape

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

'I'm playing 18 floors.'

Next, I recall looking down at myself and thinking, God, what a drama queen.

Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here.

Clock watcher

"Where do you see yourself getting drunk in five years?"

'Now, dear, I spent 35 years pretending to look busy. I can't just quit overnight!'

"Then I wake up, the cheering has stopped, I have three kids, and I work in a cubicle."

"I'm not lazy. I'm resting before I get tired."

'When I wake up, remind me to give you a few tips on how to make your presentations a little more dynamic.'

'-but surely it's unusual to have nightmares with COMMERCIALS?'