Executive Escapist Gifts

'I'm contributing to the national happiness index.'

'I love being a rich executive so please don't let me get so bad that I won't be suspended with pay.'

"It's sad to think how many of the parachutes these days are merely gold plated."

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'

"What's the problem? We told you when you started you'd have to make some sacrifices."

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

'I'm interested in your job opening, so I'll have my agent give you a ring!'

Workaholic on holiday

I hate sitting in traffic jams. - 'Move it! I need to get work.' - 'I hate sitting at my desk.' -

Forms I cannot deal with / Forms I will not deal with

"Cubicle 311 is our 'cultural oasis'."

"Lisa, bring out the Alistair Cheng files and an iced mochaccino, if you will, please."

'Walter, stop fantasizing and get back to your desk.'

Whiskers realized he'd grown tired of the rat race.

"How do you feel about working a four-day week?"

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

Next, I recall looking down at myself and thinking, God, what a drama queen.

'I'm playing 18 floors.'

Clock watcher

'Now, dear, I spent 35 years pretending to look busy. I can't just quit overnight!'

"Where do you see yourself getting drunk in five years?"

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

Big desks take time.

"Then I wake up, the cheering has stopped, I have three kids, and I work in a cubicle."

Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here.

'When I wake up, remind me to give you a few tips on how to make your presentations a little more dynamic.'

'-but surely it's unusual to have nightmares with COMMERCIALS?'

'Hold my calls. I'm going out for a random walk.'

A usual day.

'Running away from the circus to join the world of accountancy isn't working out as I expected. . .'

"On the plus side, you're on the cover of all the major business publications."

"My God!....Will this presentation never end?"