Hospital Bureaucrat Gifts

"If there's anything more we can do for you, don't hesitate to fill out the proper forms."

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

'Let's not go by the book.'

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

Storm in the out tray

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

Quality Control

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

Where are they now?: Office of Management & Budget - Grumpy.

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

Time for More Paperwork

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

"We need to do something about excessive admin. I want you to fill out one of these forms every time you think you're doing some."

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

'So do you want me to minute that George is dying of boredom and Nigel will rip my head off if I don't stop boring him with my blather?'

'I think we'd be more confident about meeting our targets if we could work out what they were!'

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

Virtual Doctor

The Department of Mystery - No one really knows who we are or what we do, including us.

It's a new government directive requiring us to be 58% more cheerful within 18 months.

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.