Health Policy Skeptic Gifts

'Incidentally, our health insurance has limited eye coverage.'

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

About 40% of the nation's coronavirus deaths could have been prevented...

"They say that 'laughter is the best medicine', which is great because your health plan doesn't cover the real stuff!"

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

'Where exactly did you get this 'Lifestyle Guru' from?'

"Your arm is broken - so it should fit in well here."

"He's so anti-regulation he won't even take a laxative."

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

'Look, half the work is done! All you need to do is fill in the top part so we can legally say the bottom part.'

I'm going to switch you to a new medication that does more advertising.

Pay Hospital Bill Here.

'Rising health costs are the biggest drain on the economy, so I'll be laying off some of my patients.'

Eye, ear, nose, throat and loans to pay the bills.

'This drug is so expensive...if it were recalled the stock markey might crash.'

We charge $500 for every nook and $1,200 for every cranny during diagnosis.

Annexe 8

"What're you doing? Your contract forbids you from watching 'cute baby video' on YouTube."

'You're suffering from a lack of profit-making opportunities within the NHS.'

Consortia set to take over

The council wanted us to have a Healthy Lifestyle Monitor

"Wellness clinics, stress-management checkups, hypertension screenings, lab tests, crisis after crisis. Fibre foods, fish-oil capsules, unsaturated spreads, plaque. Say what they may, McCormack, we did it our way."

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

"It turns out our health plan does cover eyeglasses."

"Today we insure every American and end the need for private health insurance."

'Boy! The cost of health care is going up, up, up...'

"Are you sure you don't want to try just one miracle drug before you die?"

'Let's keep pulling it and see what happens.'

'Your employer's health plan automatically cancels your coverage once you get sick.'