Healthcare Policy Critic Gifts

"Just look for something in my price range."

'Good news! According to the Government you're not dead and you can go back to work!'

'I know you're trying to keep health care costs down - but what kind of life support systems are these?'

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

"What's in it, you ask...? Don't worry. It's good for you...just trust us!"

Uncontrolled substances

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"Surgery up here is free!"

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

"We don't offer a health-care plan. Instead, we have Lou persuade you not to get sick."

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

'Incidentally, our health insurance has limited eye coverage.'

"... and keep him off al news coverage of healthcare reforms."

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

"Republicans, Democrats...as long as they keep getting sick, we'll be all right."

"We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account."

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

Pay Hospital Bill Here.

'Rising health costs are the biggest drain on the economy, so I'll be laying off some of my patients.'

Eye, ear, nose, throat and loans to pay the bills.

The World Pharmaceutical Corporation

NHS Reforms: See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil.

'I wasn't feeling ill, doctor, until I started hearing about the NHS reforms.'

"I couldn't afford health insurance, so I became a Christian Scientist."

Republican Healthcare

Surgical Self-Service

"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."

"It looks like we're out of sample placebos."

'You're suffering from a lack of profit-making opportunities within the NHS.'

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

Government looks for new targets over GPs pay

Have you drugged your child today?