Health Matters Ponderer Gifts

'I'm afraid I have some bad news.'

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

"What was I thinking?!"

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

'Money isn't making you happy? Okay, I'll raise my rate, and we'll see how that works for you.'

The Politics of Food.

'THAT'S the Holy Land? - You're kidding, right?'

Your problems are all in your head, Al. This time you're wrong, doctor. I happen to be lying on my keys. The problem is not in my head. It's in my left buttock.

'Don't mind me....I'll just sit here while you work on homeland security, unemployment, health care and your many other prbblems!'

"Don't mention Pat Buchanan, pro or con."

"Genetic engineering has made us disease resistant."

The Human Condition

'I'm only a millionaires, and there are over 260 billionaires!'

A man holding a pro-life sign stands above a group of beaten people who are pro choice.

"We just made a big cancer breakthrough. Have a cigar."

'Revolution? I thought you creatures said you wanted Evolution!'

Confined by Coronavirus

Desert crawler following water

"An equation for your thoughts?"

'The medical reimbursement system is sick and there is no race for the cure.'

"Dogs can detect cancer, and mice can detect tuberculosis."

'Well, so much for that round-earth theory of yours, smart guy.'

"The news lady says this bad guy was charged with assault...but he didn't have rifle. How's that possible?!"

'Is it politically correct to be more or less ashamed than usual of being English today?'

"It's for weird minds - they're not wired like mine...oh! I'm a poet and didn't know it!"

"What Caesar doesn't understand is that all politics is local!"

Lotus Position: 'I'm a fiscal conservative, but a liberal on social issues and the environment...'

"I don't think I could fit another slice in...oh, hold on."

"It's a cause close to my heart."

Psychiatry. I'm starting to take it personally when people say we have a representative government.

'Clown accused of being illegal gay Republican.'

"Why do you hate leap years?"

Which came first, the club or the hole?