Health Pondering Pro Gifts

Your problems are all in your head, Al. This time you're wrong, doctor. I happen to be lying on my keys. The problem is not in my head. It's in my left buttock.

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

'At least I don't have his life.'

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"How the hell should I know what I'm looking at? You're lousy insurance doesn't provide HD X-rays."

"We just made a big cancer breakthrough. Have a cigar."

Confined by Coronavirus

Mortgage up: 'Where?.'

'The medical reimbursement system is sick and there is no race for the cure.'

"Dogs can detect cancer, and mice can detect tuberculosis."

"I don't think I could fit another slice in...oh, hold on."

'Doctor, this is not what I had in mind when you said you were going to put me on an Exercise program.'

"It's a cause close to my heart."

Have you been undressing me with your eyes? It's okay, I'm a doctor

'I'll have you know that I'm 100% psychobabble-compliant!'

"Are we talking about life style or orientation?"

At first she didn't want to live if it meant being attached to tubes. But before you knew it, they were getting along just fine.

No man is an island ??" it just looks that way.

How do medicines work? They don't! All they do is give God time to heal the body!

"Either you give up all that unhealthy stuff and live another 30 years or you go on as before, have a blast for about 10 or 11 years and then die happy, satisfied and drunken."

'I'm afraid I have some bad news.'

Lady with facemask smoking

Addiction: high gas prices.

God Bless America/Godless America

"Complimentary crystal ball to see when the BLT you ordered might be showing up."

"I gave up smoking to annoy my wife by living longer."

"Of course I envy you. I have to take them two at a time."

"Will I be able to carry on not doing any exercise?"

Your medical insurance ran out? Like it was being chased by a grizzly bear.

"Now those b*****s are getting a little taste of my life!"

Covid Hate

"60 feet 6 inches oughta be fine.", "666 feet if you really want to be safe."

Vaccine research - please give

"This just in from the AMA: New studies reveal that life is bad for you."