Health Paradox Ponderer Gifts

"We just made a big cancer breakthrough. Have a cigar."

"It's a cause close to my heart."

"This just in from the AMA: New studies reveal that life is bad for you."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

The Artist

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

Optimist

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

Schrödinger and his cat

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

"Oh my God, help! Is there a logician on board?!"

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

"Most people forget they've had amnesia."

'My thesis was entitled 'Tears of a Clown: Irony or Paradox?''

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

Two guns are pointing at each other in a peace sign.

Inventing Time Travel

Energy Conservation Be Damned. Fred constantly prepared for Global Warming and Nuclear Winter to happen at the same time.

307 days without an accident.

Schrodinger's kittens

"Experimental 'no government' zone next 200 miles—by order of Trump!"

A psychic mows the lawn.

"If someone tells you they lied, they are probably telling the truth."

"What the?! Have you read about the Schrodinger's cat paradox? That's really twisted dude!"

Schrodinger's Cat Litter Box

"Dig deep! C'mon! You got this!"

"If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid."

Department of Homeland Insecurity