Health Paradox Ponderer Pillows

"We just made a big cancer breakthrough. Have a cigar."

"It's a cause close to my heart."

"This just in from the AMA: New studies reveal that life is bad for you."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

The Artist

"I'm sorry, but we're looking for someone who's more likely to be followed than following."

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

Optimist

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

Schrödinger and his cat

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

"Oh my God, help! Is there a logician on board?!"

"Most people forget they've had amnesia."

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

'My thesis was entitled 'Tears of a Clown: Irony or Paradox?''

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

Two guns are pointing at each other in a peace sign.

Your problems are all in your head, Al. This time you're wrong, doctor. I happen to be lying on my keys. The problem is not in my head. It's in my left buttock.

Desert island dweller sinks in sand.

Energy Conservation Be Damned. Fred constantly prepared for Global Warming and Nuclear Winter to happen at the same time.

Inventing Time Travel

"If someone tells you they lied, they are probably telling the truth."

Shrodinger's cat: I may or many not be missing.

Schrodinger's Cat Litter Box

Schrodinger's kittens

"What the?! Have you read about the Schrodinger's cat paradox? That's really twisted dude!"

"I'm a huge fan of your work."

"Experimental 'no government' zone next 200 miles—by order of Trump!"

"If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid."