Health Paradox Appreciator Pillows

Gym/Tan/Donut

"Think outside the box but never forget who owns the box."

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

Turn your head and laugh.

"Apparently, if you understand it, you don’t understand it."

"We just made a big cancer breakthrough. Have a cigar."

'Excellent napkin.'

"I found another great book about living with less stuff."

'Are you sure sitting on a bean bag chair isn't considered getting a daily requirement of vegetables?'

'I'm sure looking forward to relaxing when we get to the summit.'

"The good news is that you'll be immortalized in a world-famous painting. The bad news...your face is stuck like that for life!"

"It's a cause close to my heart."

'It hurts when I cackle!'

First wave, second wave, perminenet wave.

Maybe we never actually do anything because we keep calling for a show of hands.

'Looks to me as though you have an overactive thyroid!'

"That was Albert. He was at a demonstration against global warming and now he's in the hospital with frostbite."

'Brush with Calgote' Hmmm...

'You're not really into this, are you Mahoney?'

"It never ceases to amaze me what little brains people have."

'That's St Joseph. He's the patron saint of baby aspirin.'

Nightmares donuts have.

"Daddy is fiscally buff."

"You shouldn't be so afraid of the dentist."

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

"I don't care if you are the invisible man, sir, I can't let you in if you're not wearing a tie!"

"Would a test have told us if my goldfish had coronavirus?"

A hunter sits reading by the fireplace with Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer and the Easter Bunny's heads mounted on the wall as trophies.

Masked Wrestler

'Reminds me, my urologist said there's something wrong with my plumbing.'

'Geeez! One day, we'll all get killed by that unhealthy stuff!'

"The hibiscus really ties the place together."

'They're using honey to draw us out! Fortunately, they underestimate our willpower.'

Scenic Route.

Pharmacy. Can you give me something that will make me feel better, but not quite good enough to go back to work?