Health Paradox Appreciator Gifts

Gym/Tan/Donut

"Think outside the box but never forget who owns the box."

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"Apparently, if you understand it, you don’t understand it."

"We just made a big cancer breakthrough. Have a cigar."

'Excellent napkin.'

"I found another great book about living with less stuff."

'Are you sure sitting on a bean bag chair isn't considered getting a daily requirement of vegetables?'

'I'm sure looking forward to relaxing when we get to the summit.'

'It hurts when I cackle!'

"It's a cause close to my heart."

"That was Albert. He was at a demonstration against global warming and now he's in the hospital with frostbite."

'Looks to me as though you have an overactive thyroid!'

'Brush with Calgote' Hmmm...

'You're not really into this, are you Mahoney?'

First wave, second wave, perminenet wave.

"It never ceases to amaze me what little brains people have."

Nightmares donuts have.

"You shouldn't be so afraid of the dentist."

"Daddy is fiscally buff."

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

"Would a test have told us if my goldfish had coronavirus?"

Masked Wrestler

"I don't care if you are the invisible man, sir, I can't let you in if you're not wearing a tie!"

A hunter sits reading by the fireplace with Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer and the Easter Bunny's heads mounted on the wall as trophies.

'Reminds me, my urologist said there's something wrong with my plumbing.'

'Geeez! One day, we'll all get killed by that unhealthy stuff!'

Scenic Route.

'They're using honey to draw us out! Fortunately, they underestimate our willpower.'

"The hibiscus really ties the place together."

'You're not a quitter... so I'm firing you.'