Health Craze Critics Gifts

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

HELLth Food Sprouts

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Single Prayer Health Insurance

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

'Where exactly did you get this 'Lifestyle Guru' from?'

"He's so anti-regulation he won't even take a laxative."

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

'Look, half the work is done! All you need to do is fill in the top part so we can legally say the bottom part.'

"Enlightenment can only come when you realize there is more to life than gluten free hot sauce."

"Wellness clinics, stress-management checkups, hypertension screenings, lab tests, crisis after crisis. Fibre foods, fish-oil capsules, unsaturated spreads, plaque. Say what they may, McCormack, we did it our way."

Trump rally

The council wanted us to have a Healthy Lifestyle Monitor

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

'Coins, when swallowed, cause cancer. Perhaps money should be banned.'

"In a nutshell Mr. Beesley, you have hypochondria."

'I like this new alcohol labelling.'

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

'Sorry, our HMO doesn't approve treatments of 'owies'.'

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'

'Can I trust a Doctor whose prescriptions have absolutely no side effects?'

'Well you were warned about the dangers of sedentary lifestyle.'

"They harvest our noses then liquify them and drink the juice. They believe it gives them special powers called 'antioxidants'."

''Free prescription drugs'? — We don't even have doctors!'

Doctor, I looked up my symptoms on the internet and I think I might be dead. Don't believe everything you read on the net.

"Why should I want to add years to my life when they all come at the end?"

"If exercise is so good for you, how come athletes retire at 35?"

'You are on a sickie you skiving little...'

'Of course you can have a second opinion. Let's just hope he gets here in time.'

'It seems so festive.'