Health Trend Skeptic Gifts

Need a vitaminlike pill, but don't want to risk the side effects? Then try the world's first multivitamin placebo! They don't do any good, but they don't do any harm either.

"Can we stop talking about turmeric now?"

Negative calories! What? I present my latest and greatest innovation - Negative calorie vitamin water. This caf

'It doesn't have a name...it's generic food.'

Sure-fire weight loss diet pill: ' Take twice a day on an empty stomach...'

'It's finally happened - no fats, no sugar, no colouring, no ingredients whatsoever!'

"I'm sorry to say your husband took so many antioxidants, he suffocated."

"Enlightenment can only come when you realize there is more to life than gluten free hot sauce."

Book Store: Fad Diets.

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

All Natural Nothing

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'Incidentally, our health insurance has limited eye coverage.'

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

What makes the flies in your soup "artisanal"? I know, right? Personally, I think it's just a lot of hype perpetrated by the flies. Menu.

'Where exactly did you get this 'Lifestyle Guru' from?'

"He's so anti-regulation he won't even take a laxative."

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

'Look, half the work is done! All you need to do is fill in the top part so we can legally say the bottom part.'

"Here's to us, kid—and the healing powers of raw juices."

"Wellness clinics, stress-management checkups, hypertension screenings, lab tests, crisis after crisis. Fibre foods, fish-oil capsules, unsaturated spreads, plaque. Say what they may, McCormack, we did it our way."

If middle-age birthday cards were honest...

'According to Dr Alvin McDowell, everything that was good for you is now bad for you!'

The council wanted us to have a Healthy Lifestyle Monitor

"We couldn't find a raw-vegan, gluten-free, sugar-free, non-G.M.O. cake for your birthday, so we got you nothing."

"I don't speak Yoga. I speak Pilates."

'Coins, when swallowed, cause cancer. Perhaps money should be banned.'

"So does this Flamingo diet have any side effects?"

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

Formally foods that were good for you.

"In a nutshell Mr. Beesley, you have hypochondria."