Health-conscious Finance Nerd Gifts

'Don't worry. The pound has devalued, so you've actually lost weight.'

The day the stock market went UP.

Great Chinese Dynasties

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

"... And to our friends in the Liberal Democratic party I award thirty pieces of silver."

The Shrinking Dollar.

Slipping and sliding down the slope...

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

'Make them a four billion dollar takeover offer, but don't cause a fuss.'

"One question, what's a share option?"

"Jerry's blood pressure jumped to a six month high on News of the dollar's weakness."

I've found a loophole in your loophole

Cheer up, you'll get your day.

"Post holiday sales look similar to the crater that killed the dinosaurs."

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

'I believe we got your blood pressure back up to normal.'

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

Euro Bait

"I was sent on a fact finding mission. Now I'm accused of insider trading!"

"No, unfortunately I won't be raising your debt ceiling."

'I think it's time to reboot your fiscal compass.'

The End of Trump?

"Italy just bought France."

'In the interests of full disclosure, federal law now requires me to inform you that I own shares in the winery whose product I am serving this evening.'

R. Jones: Investment Advisor - Out Chasing Yield

'Actually, we were hoping you could loan some money to us.'

"Yes very good, but when I say I need to see your business model before agreeing any loan, I mean your strategy."

A few Halloween costume ideas.

Dangers of Inflationary Fiscal Policy

"My doctor says you should be drawing more fruits and vegetables."

'The National Debt just sounds like it's a lot of money because it's such a large number.'

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

Investments: Remember, tis better to have loved money and lost, than never to have loved money at all.

"I'm afraid with your income I couldn't possibly approve a loan of that size. Would you like a list of our approved loan sharks?"