Banking Nerd Gifts

"The bank accepted bones in the eighties. We don't accept bones anymore."

Those who don't learn from the past are destined to relive it.

The day the stock market went UP.

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Great Chinese Dynasties

"What's a debenture?"

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

The Shrinking Dollar.

"... And to our friends in the Liberal Democratic party I award thirty pieces of silver."

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

Slipping and sliding down the slope...

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

'Make them a four billion dollar takeover offer, but don't cause a fuss.'

"Nice work on that German contract. You've made your mark, Ashworth."

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

"I don't like the look of this."

'...and this time Gerald, don't refer to the RBS as the Ripoff Bonus Scheme!'

"One question, what's a share option?"

"Jerry's blood pressure jumped to a six month high on News of the dollar's weakness."

"Don't worry! He's totally changed..."

"We do have faith but I'm afraid our policy is still not to accept Bitcoin."

I've found a loophole in your loophole

"Post holiday sales look similar to the crater that killed the dinosaurs."

"I said freeze, punk, I didn't mean literally!"

"We rolled your account over, sir, and that just made it worse."

Spanish bank needs propping up.

Cheer up, you'll get your day.

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

'I love it when you talk big bucks, Mr. Williams.'

'Bob was eventually arrested and charged with outsider trading.'

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

Bank Loans - Thank you, I shall always be in your debt.

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'