Business Nerd Gifts

'I'm important to note we really are trying hard.'

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

The Computer Bore

Great Chinese Dynasties

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

WiFi Signals

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

'Yes, it is large for a smart phone, but then it does do absolutely everything.'

Robot Grabber Arcade Game Machine

"Post holiday sales look similar to the crater that killed the dinosaurs."

"Sorry it's late. I got caught in Spring migration."

Bank Loans - Thank you, I shall always be in your debt.

'That's where they keep all the money I don't have anymore.'

"I may have been the runt of the litter, but online I'm the alpha dog."

"You knew I was high maintenance when we met."

"After finally discovering that we exist, you would think you would have something more important to ask than if we had Roku."

Cell phones seem as if they are designed for a T-Rex!

"No, unfortunately I won't be raising your debt ceiling."

"I'm Bobby. If you like the lemonade, perhaps you'd like to invest in the 'Jimmy's Lemonade' franchise, listed in NASDAQ..."

"I don't know who will be obsolete first, me or my computer."

"That's a new side effect of our mission to keep things together."

The End of Trump?

The Department of Lessons Learned...

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'The National Debt just sounds like it's a lot of money because it's such a large number.'

"Our 'Invest in American' program is saving money by buying orange safety cones from China."

'Do you know where your phone charger is? . . . I know where mine is.'

'Two new NBA franchises: The 'Wall Street Bulls' and the 'Main street bears'.'

"I can't wait to feel the full impact."

Euro Discobolus

Exotic Insects Arrive in England with Imported Fruit

'It's good, but it's not good-to-go.'