Business Operations Nerd Gifts

"Our 'Invest in American' program is saving money by buying orange safety cones from China."

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

The Dorrie Decimal System

"I didn't spark joy."

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"It's OK to close tabs. Just click on it. Once you realize that you don't need that many open, it'll get easier. You can do this!"

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

"As you can see, our corporate structure is turtles all the way down."

"Already sold your soul to the company? Listen, I'll have my people talk to their people."

"Have your people call my people."

"Sorry it's late. I got caught in Spring migration."

"Then he slammed the door on me!" "Not the closing you were hoping for."

"I just figured she was holding all my calls. Turns out she's been running the company."

"Why didn't we think of that?"

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

"And keep in mind that the only stupid question is the one that isn't asked. Discussion?"

"I'm Bobby. If you like the lemonade, perhaps you'd like to invest in the 'Jimmy's Lemonade' franchise, listed in NASDAQ..."

The Department of Lessons Learned...

'I'm important to note we really are trying hard.'

"I'm glad to see we're all on the same page, but let's try not to tear it."

'Regarding our deadline - have we moved to long-range planning or still stuck in short-term excuses?'

Businessman has in/out boxes labeled 'OPS' and APPS.'

'It's good, but it's not good-to-go.'

"I think I see the problem."

"Business has been steady."

'These graphs represent productivity between free-range and cubicled workers.'

What's your exit strategy?

"The forty thousand dollars includes a rear view mirror!"

'He does all he can to keep from doing all he could.'

"I thought a wheel was a wheel."

'An 'out' box AND and 'in' box? Hey' I don't need that kind of stress!'

'I hear that earthlings have finished their space shuttle program. I hope they don't make it here. It would destroy proprty values.'