Management Geek Gifts

"I sure hope this an open book test."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

The day the stock market went UP.

The Dorrie Decimal System

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

"I didn't spark joy."

Elfie Stick

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

'Now then - I just wanted to see how you handle pressure, Mr. Boyle.'

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

"My best managerial trait is that I dig for answers until I get them between my teeth. My worst trait is that sometimes I bury them."

'...then Johannes Gutenberg built the first bookcase'

"... And to our friends in the Liberal Democratic party I award thirty pieces of silver."

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

"It's OK to close tabs. Just click on it. Once you realize that you don't need that many open, it'll get easier. You can do this!"

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

The Shrinking Dollar.

Slipping and sliding down the slope...

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

"He thought this would illustrate the company hierarchy more clearly than the organizational chart."

"I always try to give out at least one genuine compliment per day. I don't always succeed."

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

"There appears to be a flaw in our cloaking technology."

Whack-a-mole CEO.

"I can't sit down. Don't you remember? I worked my butt off for you."

'Make them a four billion dollar takeover offer, but don't cause a fuss.'

'...And for the low visibility positions we can bring people on board who can, you know...do things.'

'Ask yourself, 'What is it I'm not doing?', and then ask yourself, 'What is it I'm doing too much?'.'

'I'm looking for an assistant who knows my job, can do my job, but has no interest in having my job.'

Twitter censorship

"If you really want to get ahead you'll need to stop licking your own butt and start licking mine."

'I like to greet the new team members myself.'

'If I wasn't meant to destroy the world, God wouldn't have created me with atomic blasters instead of hands.'

"Leadership ISN'T just about trying to be BETTER than everyone else!"