Business Buzzword Nerd Gifts

"This project is evolving well, going forward."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

Gingerbread Business Classes: Think Outside the Fox.

In a world where spelling doesn't count.

He used to pass the buck, since being promoted to management he gets to call it delegating authority.

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

'When will I be old enough to have my own people?'

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

"Pendleton, as of noon today your services will no longer be required. Meanwhile, keep up the good work."

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

'Natalie, would you please bring me the buzzword du jour?'

Intellectual Property

Strategic Planning Magnetic Kit showing words such as 'increase,' 'global,' 'leading,' and 'profitable'

Man sees misspelled 'Minimum Competency Testing' sign on door.

"Oh, and add a couple of intentional typos to my weekly email update...I want to appear warm and authentic!!"

"Come to my office. I need to cascade with you offline."

Man kicking Exclamation Mark.

Commonly confused homonyms: Frigate and Frigate

Sharp Eyes

"I'm Bobby. If you like the lemonade, perhaps you'd like to invest in the 'Jimmy's Lemonade' franchise, listed in NASDAQ..."

"How do you spell, asteroid?"

Irritable Vowel Syndrome

'I'm important to note we really are trying hard.'

"Here comes our first V.P., Mrs. Byers, now. Mrs. Byers is results-oriented."

"Ok clss pls trn ur pprs ovr n strt :)"

"I'm sorry, Ma'am, but you'll have to put your dust jacket back on."

'Worst case of buzzword overdose I've ever seen!'

The Vertically Challenged Oxford Dictionary.

"I sell them for Website names."

"You're all redundant."

"The best laid plans of mice and men... differ materially in their objectives."

'It's good, but it's not good-to-go.'