Business Buzzword Aficionado Gifts

"Here comes our first V.P., Mrs. Byers, now. Mrs. Byers is results-oriented."

"O.K. Will somebody please bring me up to date?"

"Frank, you need to start thinking outside the box."

"What are the prevailing winds?"

"When is the launch date?"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"Repeat after me: We are delivering the proactive core value promises and rolling out our real time best practice action plan going forward ..."

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

'Natalie, would you please bring me the buzzword du jour?'

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

Final words on gravestones.

Strategic Planning Magnetic Kit showing words such as 'increase,' 'global,' 'leading,' and 'profitable'

"Come to my office. I need to cascade with you offline."

"Can you go through all the old pitch decks and replace the word 'crypto' with 'AI'?"

"Which 'ism' am I this week, Ms. Trotter?"

'This is gobbledygook. I asked for mumbo-jumbo.'

"O.K. What part of 'malignant regression and pathogenic reintrojection as a defense against psychic decompensation' don't you understand?"

'Sir, what comes first ??" the buzz or the spin?'

GDP and G&T.

"We’re leveraging knowledge of niche opportunities to maximize strategic advantages."

"Our brand is about talking about our brand."

"Excellent report! Totally incomprehensible and confusing! Not one of our board members will understand a word! Absolutely perfect!"

They had no idea what they were doing, but it didn't matter...

'I'll give you this, Hargrove - Your report was a perfect blend of cliches, banalities and platitudes.'

'I have no idea what a Wiki is but I want one on my desk next week, now move it, people!'

"I work in PR where I provide a dynamic and highly effective bespoke service that can work for you and blah blah blah ..."

"The best laid plans of mice and men... differ materially in their objectives."

"Miss Davis, bring me everything we've got on turning a two-bit hole-in-the-wall operation into a multinational juggernaut."

'Drive 'em wild with the sweet scent of net profits exceeding forecasts due to higher gross margins and cost-cutting.'