Business Buzzword Lover Gifts

'Drive 'em wild with the sweet scent of net profits exceeding forecasts due to higher gross margins and cost-cutting.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"Repeat after me: We are delivering the proactive core value promises and rolling out our real time best practice action plan going forward ..."

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

"This is what we call a 'customer', or more accurately a 'potential profit centre.'"

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

'Natalie, would you please bring me the buzzword du jour?'

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

Final words on gravestones.

Bee to bee: 'We used buzzwords before they were trendy.'

Strategic Planning Magnetic Kit showing words such as 'increase,' 'global,' 'leading,' and 'profitable'

"Come to my office. I need to cascade with you offline."

"Can you go through all the old pitch decks and replace the word 'crypto' with 'AI'?"

"Which 'ism' am I this week, Ms. Trotter?"

"I swear, Bob, if you say "I'll think about it and circle back to you" one more time...X"

"As your new CEO, I hereby change 'deadline' to 'soft squiggle.'"

"O.K. What part of 'malignant regression and pathogenic reintrojection as a defense against psychic decompensation' don't you understand?"

"Here comes our first V.P., Mrs. Byers, now. Mrs. Byers is results-oriented."

'Sir, what comes first ??" the buzz or the spin?'

'I have no idea what a Wiki is but I want one on my desk next week, now move it, people!'

"Excellent report! Totally incomprehensible and confusing! Not one of our board members will understand a word! Absolutely perfect!"

"Our brand is about talking about our brand."

'I'll give you this, Hargrove - Your report was a perfect blend of cliches, banalities and platitudes.'

"I work in PR where I provide a dynamic and highly effective bespoke service that can work for you and blah blah blah ..."

They had no idea what they were doing, but it didn't matter...

"You're all redundant."

"Miss Davis, bring me everything we've got on turning a two-bit hole-in-the-wall operation into a multinational juggernaut."

"Well, now it's been explained to you, 'Market Share' does not mean we want to share the market."

'Warspeak department' making up new military terminology.

Business School - Center for the Study of Mumbo Jumbo - 3rd Floor.

"Cynthia, please disambiguate this suite of objectives, cherry-pick anything that's actionable and Nascar it through a dialed-back event horizon."