Business Buzzword Lover Gifts

'Drive 'em wild with the sweet scent of net profits exceeding forecasts due to higher gross margins and cost-cutting.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"Repeat after me: We are delivering the proactive core value promises and rolling out our real time best practice action plan going forward ..."

"This is what we call a 'customer', or more accurately a 'potential profit centre.'"

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

'Natalie, would you please bring me the buzzword du jour?'

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

Final words on gravestones.

Bee to bee: 'We used buzzwords before they were trendy.'

Strategic Planning Magnetic Kit showing words such as 'increase,' 'global,' 'leading,' and 'profitable'

"Come to my office. I need to cascade with you offline."

"As your new CEO, I hereby change 'deadline' to 'soft squiggle.'"

"Which 'ism' am I this week, Ms. Trotter?"

"I swear, Bob, if you say "I'll think about it and circle back to you" one more time...X"

"Can you go through all the old pitch decks and replace the word 'crypto' with 'AI'?"

"O.K. What part of 'malignant regression and pathogenic reintrojection as a defense against psychic decompensation' don't you understand?"

"Here comes our first V.P., Mrs. Byers, now. Mrs. Byers is results-oriented."

'Sir, what comes first ??" the buzz or the spin?'

'Worst case of buzzword overdose I've ever seen!'

'I have no idea what a Wiki is but I want one on my desk next week, now move it, people!'

I called you to this synergistic ideation to strategize methods of creating new annoying words.

"Excellent report! Totally incomprehensible and confusing! Not one of our board members will understand a word! Absolutely perfect!"

"Our brand is about talking about our brand."

Before we begin, would somebody please bring Jenkins up to speed?

'I'll give you this, Hargrove - Your report was a perfect blend of cliches, banalities and platitudes.'

They had no idea what they were doing, but it didn't matter...

"I work in PR where I provide a dynamic and highly effective bespoke service that can work for you and blah blah blah ..."

"You're all redundant."

"Miss Davis, bring me everything we've got on turning a two-bit hole-in-the-wall operation into a multinational juggernaut."

"Well, now it's been explained to you, 'Market Share' does not mean we want to share the market."

'Warspeak department' making up new military terminology.

Business School - Center for the Study of Mumbo Jumbo - 3rd Floor.