Business Buzzword Collector Gifts

"Now – go out there and shift some paradigm!"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

"Better than a business model, I have a business scheme."

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

"Repeat after me: We are delivering the proactive core value promises and rolling out our real time best practice action plan going forward ..."

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

'Sir, your tweeting coach is here.'

'Natalie, would you please bring me the buzzword du jour?'

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

'I owe you an apology, Greffman -- Let's keep it that way.'

Final words on gravestones.

What Business People often say (and what they really mean)

'We no longer call it 'hiring' - we now call it 'insourcing'.'

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

Strategic Planning Magnetic Kit showing words such as 'increase,' 'global,' 'leading,' and 'profitable'

'There's an absence of leadership in this authority,we need to explore the possibility of thinking about setting up a sub-committee to look into it.'

"Come to my office. I need to cascade with you offline."

"Can you go through all the old pitch decks and replace the word 'crypto' with 'AI'?"

"Let me through, please. I know what the letters C.P.R. stand for."

"Which 'ism' am I this week, Ms. Trotter?"

"O.K. What part of 'malignant regression and pathogenic reintrojection as a defense against psychic decompensation' don't you understand?"

'It has everything... I love it!'

"Here comes our first V.P., Mrs. Byers, now. Mrs. Byers is results-oriented."

'Sir, what comes first ??" the buzz or the spin?'

'I'll give you this, Hargrove - Your report was a perfect blend of cliches, banalities and platitudes.'

'Fair warning, I'm in one of my 'moods'.'

'We harbour few illusions here at Megatron Inc.'

"I work in PR where I provide a dynamic and highly effective bespoke service that can work for you and blah blah blah ..."

'I have no idea what a Wiki is but I want one on my desk next week, now move it, people!'

"Our brand is about talking about our brand."

"Excellent report! Totally incomprehensible and confusing! Not one of our board members will understand a word! Absolutely perfect!"