Business Buzzword Breaker Gifts

"You're all redundant."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

"Better than a business model, I have a business scheme."

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

"Repeat after me: We are delivering the proactive core value promises and rolling out our real time best practice action plan going forward ..."

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

'Natalie, would you please bring me the buzzword du jour?'

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

'Sir, your tweeting coach is here.'

What Business People often say (and what they really mean)

Bee to bee: 'We used buzzwords before they were trendy.'

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

Strategic Planning Magnetic Kit showing words such as 'increase,' 'global,' 'leading,' and 'profitable'

"Come to my office. I need to cascade with you offline."

"Can you go through all the old pitch decks and replace the word 'crypto' with 'AI'?"

"Which 'ism' am I this week, Ms. Trotter?"

"O.K. What part of 'malignant regression and pathogenic reintrojection as a defense against psychic decompensation' don't you understand?"

"Here comes our first V.P., Mrs. Byers, now. Mrs. Byers is results-oriented."

'Worst case of buzzword overdose I've ever seen!'

I called you to this synergistic ideation to strategize methods of creating new annoying words.

Communicating with clients without using buzzwords posed a challenge for the consultants.

'I have no idea what a Wiki is but I want one on my desk next week, now move it, people!'

Before we begin, would somebody please bring Jenkins up to speed?

They had no idea what they were doing, but it didn't matter...

"Our brand is about talking about our brand."

"Excellent report! Totally incomprehensible and confusing! Not one of our board members will understand a word! Absolutely perfect!"

Gads. I've forgotten today's buzzword.

'Drive 'em wild with the sweet scent of net profits exceeding forecasts due to higher gross margins and cost-cutting.'

"Well, now it's been explained to you, 'Market Share' does not mean we want to share the market."

'Do you get the feeling that, in educational workshops, there are way too many buzzwords thrown around?'

'Warspeak department' making up new military terminology.

'Try thinking outside the cubicle.'

The Department of People Who Can Still Say 'Paradigm' and 'Synergy' with Straight Faces.

'Or, to put it in layman's terms, it's a major buzzkill.'