Business Buzzword Buff Gifts

"What is a knowledge worker and do we have any on the staff."

'Natalie, would you please bring me the buzzword du jour?'

'We're not like other companies, Bill. We actually LIVE our mission statement! Why don't you join us?' 'Get serious, Tom. Your company's mission statement is so vague, slick & devoid of substance that it could be used to justify anything!'

"Eskimos have 100 words for snow. Marketing has 100 ways to say 'New and Improved.'"

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

A fight in the Boardroom.

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

"What's a debenture?"

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

I'm a self-made man!

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

"Is it just a scary coincidence that the words 'changes' and 'unknown' both have 7 letters?"

After a day long meeting, the decision, as usual, is made in the hallway.

Company sales forecast mirrors the weather

'It appears the 'What?'s have it.'

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'