Buzzword Buff Gifts

"It says all the chemical ingredients in this food were made by organic, free fange scientists."

'Sir, your tweeting coach is here.'

'I'm the Company's Registered Acronym Promoter but I've yet to be given a job title.'

Mangagementspeak

'Try thinking outside the cubicle.'

The Department of People Who Can Still Say 'Paradigm' and 'Synergy' with Straight Faces.

A.C.R.O.N.Y.M

"Really, I feel fine. I just want to pick up some psycho-babble."

Management consultants annual face to face interpersonal relationship development party.

'Good guess, Ferguson, but a 'neocon' isn't someone recently convicted and sentenced.'

"People complain about management consultants but without US how would anybody instigate forward facing paradigm shifts in client nourishment and product policy interaction strategisation programmes?"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

"Better than a business model, I have a business scheme."

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

"Repeat after me: We are delivering the proactive core value promises and rolling out our real time best practice action plan going forward ..."

'Natalie, would you please bring me the buzzword du jour?'

Final words on gravestones.

Bee to bee: 'We used buzzwords before they were trendy.'

What Business People often say (and what they really mean)

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

"Can you go through all the old pitch decks and replace the word 'crypto' with 'AI'?"

"Which 'ism' am I this week, Ms. Trotter?"

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

"Let me through, please. I know what the letters C.P.R. stand for."

"O.K. What part of 'malignant regression and pathogenic reintrojection as a defense against psychic decompensation' don't you understand?"

'It has everything... I love it!'

'Worst case of buzzword overdose I've ever seen!'

'Sir, what comes first ??" the buzz or the spin?'

"I work in PR where I provide a dynamic and highly effective bespoke service that can work for you and blah blah blah ..."

Gads. I've forgotten today's buzzword.

"Excellent report! Totally incomprehensible and confusing! Not one of our board members will understand a word! Absolutely perfect!"

They had no idea what they were doing, but it didn't matter...