Buzzword Enthusiast Gifts

'We had a group think about implementing paradigm shifting re-prioritisations of our inward facing media strategy in order to enhance our communication with the average man on the street.'

"Our integrated approach to medicine skillfully combines an array of holistic alternative treatments with a sophisticated computerized billing service."

"O.K. What part of 'malignant regression and pathogenic reintrojection as a defense against psychic decompensation' don't you understand?"

'Formerly, 'Regular' and 'Extra-Strength'.'

"See! All we have to do is wait!"

"Gentlemen, let's do lunch."

'Warspeak department' making up new military terminology.

"I'm sure she'll be back soon. She's just somewhere integrating awareness about something."

"No mission creep here. Just more football metaphor creep."

''Collegiality' is the new Washington buzzwords. I had to check the Oxford English Dictionary to see exactly what it means.'

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'Actually minister it doesn't really matter WHAT you say as long as you include a combination of the words 'choice', 'empowerment' and 'client focussed'.'

Management speak is typically used to make something seem more impressive than it is...

'I think that's enough brainstorming!'

'I have no idea what a Wiki is but I want one on my desk next week, now move it, people!'

'Actually minister it doesn't really matter WHAT you say as long as you include a combination of the words 'choice', 'empowerment' and 'client focused'.'

"Repeat after me: We are delivering the proactive core value promises and rolling out our real time best practice action plan going forward ..."

"Remember, we've got to dig down together as a team to create the right foundation that will benefit this entire project as a hole."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"Excellent report! Totally incomprehensible and confusing! Not one of our board members will understand a word! Absolutely perfect!"

"Most people don't understand that without management consultants people wouldn't know how to instigate forward facing paradigm shifts in their client nourishment and policy integration strategies."

"It's a new role, very much in line with the firms new zeitgeist aiming at a new target rich, challenging resource lean environment."

"Our brand is about talking about our brand."

'He said his first buzz word today!'

They had no idea what they were doing, but it didn't matter...

'How embarrasing. I went the entire meeting without coming up with a single buzzword.'

Come on, Frank, we don't call it 'thinking outside the box' anymore. We call it 'brainstorming without borders.''

'Okay, Canfield, let's have the old mumbo jumbo.'

'So it's incumbent upon all staff to restate their personal dialogue...'

"...I've accepted the resignation of Bill, our Chief Corporate Change Agent and New Paradigm Liason. Apparently, he tested positive for illegal, jargon-enhancing steroids!"

'I don't care if it is 'very now', I'm not calling our child Meh!'

"Which 'ism' am I this week, Ms. Trotter?"

Buzzwords

I called you to this synergistic ideation to strategize methods of creating new annoying words.