Buzzword Aficionado Gifts

Ministry of Soundbites: "Actually minister, it doesn't really matter what you say as long as you include a combination of the words 'choice','empowerment' and 'customer focussed'."

"Don't disturb Daddy. He's busy visualizing unparalleled success in the business world and, by extension, a better life for us all."

"Sorry - could you run that by me one more time?"

Final words on gravestones.

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'Sir, what comes first ??" the buzz or the spin?'

Business School - Center for the Study of Mumbo Jumbo - 3rd Floor.

"I work in PR where I provide a dynamic and highly effective bespoke service that can work for you and blah blah blah ..."

"Reconfiguring our forward facing business practices to deep dive into accommodating blue sky reimagining of our cross pollination adoption processes..."

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

"You need a constitutional proactive approach to arrest system decline. That means get some exercise or you'll die."

'I'll give you this, Hargrove - Your report was a perfect blend of cliches, banalities and platitudes.'

'That's what I call thinking outside the box.'

"They're not wasting time with verbs anymore."

"Revelatory, Michael - such airy meatballs."

"Cynthia, please disambiguate this suite of objectives, cherry-pick anything that's actionable and Nascar it through a dialed-back event horizon."

"So, I’d love for us to think of this as less of a trial and more of a curated trial experience."

"At the end of the day he was thrown under the bus for getting ahead of his skis and making the issue a big fat nothing burger."

Intersectional Climate Justice

"We sent you on a fact-finding mission and all you found were two facts?"

"As you can see, it has excellent windowage."

"I can't just switch gears and be smart."

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

Punt Cake

"Better than a business model, I have a business scheme."

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

The americanisation of vulture.

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

"Privates Beach"

"Nuts to you, too."

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."