Business Buzzwords Lover Gifts

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

Receptionist covers for boss by saying he's out of the office.

Office temperature.

Zoo. Diet Clinic. Hey everybody --- There's no longer an 800-pound gorilla in the room!

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

'What I don't like about computers is that you can't fire them.'

"This is what we call a 'customer', or more accurately a 'potential profit centre.'"

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

'Natalie, would you please bring me the buzzword du jour?'

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

'Lateral hires are always told we do things differently here.'

Strategic Planning Magnetic Kit showing words such as 'increase,' 'global,' 'leading,' and 'profitable'

"No need to remind me. I'm well aware that I've forgotten completely about you."

"Come to my office. I need to cascade with you offline."

"As your new CEO, I hereby change 'deadline' to 'soft squiggle.'"

"At the end of the day, Maureen, wake me up."

"It's not backstabbing if I tell our boss how lame you are while you're sitting here, is it?"

"I swear, Bob, if you say "I'll think about it and circle back to you" one more time...X"

"Mommy is having another baby. Let me assure you that any paradigm shift will be incremental, core values remain family-centric, and Mommy is committed to assimilation and building synergy."

"Here comes our first V.P., Mrs. Byers, now. Mrs. Byers is results-oriented."

'Worst case of buzzword overdose I've ever seen!'

'This may be the first day of the rest of my life, but I've decided to wait for the second day.'

'Don't you all feel energised, full of enthusiasm for the future!'

Before we begin, would somebody please bring Jenkins up to speed?

'Drive 'em wild with the sweet scent of net profits exceeding forecasts due to higher gross margins and cost-cutting.'

"Miss Davis, bring me everything we've got on turning a two-bit hole-in-the-wall operation into a multinational juggernaut."

"Well, now it's been explained to you, 'Market Share' does not mean we want to share the market."

"Before we review our plans for the next quarter, I thought you all may want to keep in mind a little advice from my advisory panel."

'He finds it easier to fire people this way.'

"Don't worry, son. Daddy's not even on the bus, let alone the next to be thrown under it."

Boss, I've got a new idea. And it will totally empower on-demand collaboration and idea-sharing. Not again. It'll synergistically maintain error-free catalysts for change, while progressively meshing stand-alone methods of reconceptualization. Look, I've already told you. You're not getting a raise, not matter how much business jargon you use. But an extra $2 an hour would dramatically generate error-free opportunities for a tax deduction. No means no.

"It's agreed. I'll try to get the best of you and you'll try to get the best of me."

"Effective and CLEAR communication with customers is ESSENTIAL so we're going to practise drilling down to identify core interpersonal information transfer methodologies to accelerate a meaningful dialogue."

'It certainly didn't take Charlie very long after his promotion to grow an impressive set of claws, did it?'